Love According to Dean Martin

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's amore."

Really? That's amore? That's amore?! No wonder half the adult population of the United States is still single. Apparently I'm waiting for a moon-like meteorite to hit me in the face and then I will find love. Albeit half dead and deformed and laid up in the hospital. If that's love according to Dean Martin, then I hope it never finds me.