greeting dogs

I saw this T-shirt today that said "Greet everyone as you would your dog." Well I personally don't think that is a good idea. I just so happen to be an obsessed dog lover. (Especially big dogs) If I were to greet everyone the way I greet dogs, you would experience something like this...

First, I would grab your face and kiss you on both cheeks and the top of your head. Then I would grab you by the ears and scratch behind them and kiss them. Then I would rub your back and stomach at the same time. Then I would keep patting you on the head and tell you in a ridiculously melodic voice how great you are and never let you get a word in.

I think this would make a lot of wives and girlfriends very angry with me and children would run in terror.

So no, I don't think it's a good idea to greet everyone the way you would your dog.