Some years back, during the summer my father had a hernia operation. Afterwards, my mother drove him home. When they pulled into the driveway my father realized that he was unable to lift himself up out of the car. All of us kids came around to try and help my father out. My father is not one who is comfortable showing signs of physical weakness and needing help. Therefore the fact that his lovely wife and three grown children where attempting to hoist his weakened frame out of the car made him less than amiable.
After much fussing and snapping from my father, my mother decided to come up with Brilliant Idea #1, Put my father in a wheel barrel. The reason being was that if he couldn't stand up then we could sit him down in the wheel barrel and wheel him into the house. My father refused, but my mother insisted and since Dad was virtually immobile, my mother won this battle.
Now you should know that my Dad is a regional vice president of a prominent international business. I don't say this to brag, but rather to make sure you understand we are not talking about a farmer in a wheel barrel. We're talking about a man who wears business suits to work, a man of taste and class. He was furious.
My brother and sister and I were trying not to laugh as we got the green wheel barrel from the garage and slowly lower Dad into it from the car. I don't recall ever seeing my father so cantankerous in my life. Once we carefully wheeled him through the garden we realized we had another problem. How were we going to get the wheel barrel up the steps to the house? What bunch of idiots we were. No one thought about anything before hand. We decided to try once again to get my dad up but he just couldn't move.
That's when Mom came up with Brilliant Idea #2, call the police.
Why the police and not a neighbor, I'm not sure, but there you have it. My father refused and scolded my mother as if she was a child for even considering the idea. To which my mother completely ignored him and went inside and promptly dialed the police department.
The next thing we know all five of us are standing around with a squad car in the driveway and two officers trying to assess the situation. They had their hand to their mouths trying to look serious, but really I think they were just trying to keep from laughing. It was these hefty gentleman who managed to lift my father from the wheel barrel and help him into his room.
Once we got Dad settled the rest of us showed the police officers through the house on their way out. Just before reaching the door, one of them stopped and looked at the other cop. "Hey, haven't we been here before?" He said as he stopped and glanced around our kitchen. "Heeeeeey! Yeah! We have been here. Maloney, Right?" Said the other cop to my brother. "Uh, yes officer." My brother said looking slightly nervous. "Yeah we broke up a big party here this summer!" Said the first cop. "You did WHAT?" Said my mother, looking from the cops to my brother and sister as they smiled sheepishly at her. "Yeah, the neighbors called because of the noise!" They said as they smiled confidently at each other and impressed that they remembered.
After that comment I think my brother wanted to kick them in the back and out the door. Once they left however, my mother started grilling the three of us. Oh, but that's another story...;-)
She's Having a Baby
4 years ago