1. In the morning, walk over to my mother while she was sleeping in bed and lift up her eyelid and peer into her face and ask "Are you in there Mommy?"
2. Laugh at my father while he was scolding me because his 'Mean Face' was hilarious to me. He would grit his teeth and his face would get red and sometimes I thought it would pop off.
3. I learned that it's not a good idea to convince your little sister to try and fit into your dresser drawer and then shut it and walk away. You get in Big trouble for that.
4. I also learned that it's not nice to tell your sister that she's adopted and swear her to secrecy.
5. Create a bungee cord out of my Madonna Bracelets and bounce my barbies out the window.
6. Make fun of my best friend Jen for wiping her boogies behind her mirror, then realize that I wiped my boogies under my window sill.
7. Hide from my mother in the round clothing racks at the department store and wipe my boogies on the new clothes.
8. Have an extremely wild imagination. I believed that there was a little troll that lived in my closet and he wanted to get me while I slept. I also believed that the Vikings were going to get me and nail my sheets down with me in them and I would never get out of my bed. I also believed that my carpet turned into The Blob at night and so I was terrified to get out of my bed to use the bathroom. (I could go on...)
9. I was the stereo-typical oldest child. You could call me "Little Miss Bossy" or "Little Miss Know-it-All."
10. I was only allowed chocolate once a week. It was after church and we would stop by the Seven-Eleven on the way home and the three of us would get to pick a candy bar while my dad got coffee.
11. I told my best friend Jen "I hate you, you know." Waited until she started to cry and then said. "I was only kidding."
12. Didn't deserve my best friend Jen, who was the sweetest girl in the world.
13. Watch 6 hours of TV on Saturday mornings. From 6am until noon.
14. Constantly sneak into my siblings beds at night because of all the things I came up with to be afraid of in the dark.
15. Used to throw myself out of bed so that my parents who were in the den below would think I fell out of bed, all for extra attention.
16. I loved it when my grandfather would come to babysit us because we could eat ice cream for dinner and he would do tricks with his cigarettes and let us stay up late with him and watch british Benny Hill shows.
17. Make up reasons to have lots of different parties. Example: Cabbage Patch Kids Birthday's, Christmas in July Parties.
18. I used to come home from school and either finish off a row of Oreos OR make myself a salad.
19. Dance in front of the mirror.
20. Dress up in crazy costumes and walk around the neighborhood hoping people would see me.
21. Get sick a lot or try to fake it, because I always wanted to be home with my mother.
22. Told my pre-school teacher that my mommy had a gun in the hopes of leaving pre-school. It worked, they told her never to bring me back.
23. I knew that I was a naughty little girl, and I always felt rather guilty for that. Even as a kid.
24. The Booby Room , enough said.
25. Had a rather large collection of tooth paste caps in my bathroom medicine cabinet.
26. Decorated the cabinet under my sink with cut up boxes of Kleenex. I thought the pictures were pretty.
27. Had a collection of dried gum stuck to my bed post so I could chew it when I didn't have any fresh gum.
28. Told my friend Jen that if a boy ever asked me out I would tell him before we went on the date that he was absolutly not allowed to touch me at all.
29. When I was two, I look just like the Campbells Soup Kid.
30. Before I got braces I used to undo paperclips and stick them in my mouth to pretend that I had braces.
31. When my brother would bother me, I would pick up the phone in front of him and pretend that I was talking to Santa Clause and tell him not to bring toys for my brother because he was being bad.
32. Made up this game at the table called Princess, Prince and Slob. We only played this when my parents were getting ready to go out and we were waiting for the babysitter and eating dinner on our own. I was the Princess (of course) Ryan was the Prince and Lauren was the Slob. I would remove her silverware and chair. She would serve us and then have to eat with her hands while standing up. And if we wanted anyting, she would get it for us.
(Man, Did I love being a kid (and the oldest) but paybacks on me never stop at the family gatherings for all the stuff I pulled!)
She's Having a Baby
5 years ago