Once upon a time in my childhood, we bought our first dog. She was a sweet Black Lab and her name was Bonnie.
It was only a couple of weeks after we bought her, when my Dad went to take Bonnie on a Saturday morning walk. Five year old Ryan and I watched at the front door as my Dad and our shiny new puppy walked down the driveway.
We were in our pajamas and had our noses pressed against the door window. We kept wiping the condensation from our breath with our hands and leaving steaks all over it. It had recently snowed and our world was beautifully white outside.
As my Dad and Bonnie reached the sidewalk, our neighbor Mr. Fox was outside too. We watched as the two of them stopped to chat. We noticed how little Bonnie began to sniff incessantly around their feet and before you knew it, she began to hunch her little back and decided to poop right there on Mr. Foxes property in front of him.
I suppose I should preface this by saying that Mr. Fox was the most meticulous person about his yard that any of us had ever met. We were not even allowed to walk on his lawn, but there's Bonnie, doing what needs to be done. This in and of itself was mortifying for my father, as he could not stop her. But as Ryan watched this from the front door he became very concerned as Bonnie's little pile began to steam in the snow. So he opened the door and shouted to my father as loud as he could "Daddy, the doody is on fire!" "Daddy, the doody is burning!" "Daddy can't you see?" He yelled.
My father decided to ignore Ryan until Mr. Fox said "Uh, Art, I think Ryan is trying to tell you something." At this point my father wincingly turned around so Ryan could yell it to him again. "Thanks Ryan, it's okay son, I know." He said. He then apologized profusely to Mr. Fox and walked away with his tail between his legs.
post script: apparently some of my dear fans thought this post to be a bit crass. :( Well...I'm sorry, that's not my intent, I personally always thought this story to be funny. :) Hopefully you will too.
She's Having a Baby
5 years ago