Friday, February 29, 2008

Things That Drive Me Crazy

I love it when I'm in a public restroom and I'm precariously leaning over the potty in a crouched skiing position and my thighs start burning from holding the form after 15 seconds and I quickly go to grab the toilet paper, only to find the roll is so heavy that it comes off...one square at a time.

I love how my phone has an automatic button for the camera on the side. There is no way to lock the button, so next thing I know my phone has taken 50 pictures of the inside of my purse and used up all the camera memory. Then I have to manually delete each black picture by hand. I love that.

I love it when I go to use to the bathroom in a public restroom and the person before me really made it stinky. Then I come out and someone is waiting to use the same bathroom and they make a face at me because they think that I made the stinky.

I love it when I'm having a conversation with a group of people I don't know very well and one of the people has something hanging in their nose. And no one tells them. I especially love it when that person is me.

I love it when I am in a terrible rush and the person in the car in front of me is driving below the speed limit and they are inevitably going in the same direction as I am the whole way.

I love it how when I meet someone I am actually attracted to I clam up and don't say a word and totally ignore them. I fear they will sense my attraction. So in essence they probably think I hate them ...now there's a clever girl!

I love how Troll Men have no trouble chatting me up, (Think Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice) And the cute guys are too intimidated to talk to me. (Think Mr. Bingley)

I loved how the 4 year old I used to nanny for would accidentally dump her drink in my crotch when out to lunch and we would walk around the mall afterward and it looked like I wet my pants.

I loved it how everywhere I went with "my" four year old she always had to use the potty. Then once I sat her down on the toilet she would look into my face and say, "Now I don't have to go." (Yeah, that was classic.)

Oh how I love these things!

12 comments:

Jeanna said...

A few of these definitely hit very close to home. Especially the public bathroom ones.

I believe every woman has been there!

Colleen said...

Jeanna! Yes. I'm glad I'm not the only one!

Adventurer w/o Borders said...

Once, when I was a youth group leader, one of the kids asked me why I didn't have a Jesus fish symbol or anything else, that would let people know that I'm a Christian, on my car.

My answer: I don't want people to know that I'm a Christian when I'm stuck behind one of those rolling road blocks in which some $%@$%@#^@ driver insists on driving 10 mph under the speed limit.

I'm a much mellow driver now. One event relieved me of my road rage:

I was driving on one of those winding canyon roads east of L.A. at what I thought was the fastest safe speed for that road when a motorcyclist behind me became unsatisfied with my speed and attempted to pass me several times. Each time oncoming traffic appeared from around a bend in the road. Finally he (or she, I couldn't tell with the motorcycle wear) passed me. Fifteen minutes later, there traffic came to a halt. As I passed the accident site, I saw the reason for the delay in traffic. The motorcyclist, who had earlier passed me, drove through (yes, you read correctly: drove through) a tractor trailer rig and fell into the canyon.

Adventurer w/o Borders said...

Hmmm... I don't think I have trouble chatting it up with women and I'm pretty certain that I'm not considered one of the "cute" guys. Yike! I'm a Mr. Collins Troll Man!

I am the Troll man
they are the Troll men
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob!

david mcmahon said...

You always make mesmile, Colleen!

Colleen said...

David- You know, I kinda make me smile too! My roommate doesn't seem to think I'm all that funny. But she thinks it's funny that I think I'm funny. So even when she's not laughing at my attempts to be funny, she's still laughing at me!

xeonX said...

This one's tops..

"I loved how the 4 year old I used to nanny for would accidentally dump her drink in my croch when out to lunch and we would walk around the mall afterward and it looked like I wet my pants."

Clamming up and ignoring someone you might be attracted to..I do the exact same thing most times..fail to understand why though!

Nice :) you're back!

Colleen said...

Xeonx- Kids. You gotta love 'em!

~**Dawn**~ said...

Ok, let's count the ways in which we are alike:

1. The two public bathroom ones? So been there.

2. That photo button! ARG!! I get lots of photos of the inside of my pocket too. =P I love my little LG but does that button have to be so stinking sensitive?!

3. Terible rush? That happened to me on Friday. Turns out I was stuck behind one of our salesmen & didn't even know it! So I followed him *literally* all the way to my destination.

4. See someone cute? Got nothing to say. Can't even muster eye contact.

5. Troll men that won't stop talking or at least take a hint? Check. I have yet to determine why the good ones & the cute ones won't talk to me though? Intimidation or disinterest? =P

Colleen said...

Dawn- #1. Hee hee hee...I know that was all probably TMI, but I don't care, I can write what I want!

2. I thought my phone was the only kind that did that!

3. That is pretty funny about all the way to work!

4. Yeah, well...whatever, you know?

5. Actually, I think it might be shyness.

Dan Mega said...

Troll man is actually colleen referencing me :(

Colleen said...

Dan- Oh get over yourself!!! =)Besides, unless you're lying about your height...you are too tall to be a troll =)