Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Iron Stomach Girl

Did you know that it is possible to develop rock hard abs and not have to workout at all?
Well, it's true. For the past three weeks I have not done one sit up or anything of the like and developed rock hard abs. Wanna know my secret? It goes like this...

First I cough. Then I cough some more. Then the tickle in my throat gets agitated and I began to hack like a professional smoker, until...drum roll please... I gag. Then you repeat this whole process again, sans gagging because that looks terrible in public. If you do this about, oh, every fifteen minutes or so for three weeks straight, I promise you, you will have the most incredible abs in the world.

Here's the thing. I really could care less about incredible abs. No one sees my stomach-ever! But you know, I just thought I'd let you in on my little secret.

I would rather have a little 'muffin top' over this any day!

11 comments:

Dan Mega said...

Sounds like you should go to the doctor. Bronchitis?

Holly said...

You actually had me hooked there... I was sure you had some secret other than the beloved crunches! not so much... ha ha

Bummer. I hope you feel better soon! Have you gotten that cough checked out? Stop being "led around by your nose" and maybe the coughing will subside?

Get lots of rest and I'll pray for good health for you, my friend. :)

Colleen said...

Dan and Holly- Actually I went to the doctor this weekend and she said that it's not Bronchitis. They did give me meds, just working my way through it =)Plus, we had a snow day today, so I stayed at home in my jammies and napped and it was great!

Adventurer w/o Borders said...

Yes, I, too, have been developing my rock hard abs using the patented "cough, hack, and gag" method for the past three weeks and my brick body abs are coming along just fine! For only $8.88 you can get the full instruction manual. Call RONCO now and have rock hard abs in just three weeks. That's right. In just three weeks, your abs will be ready for your winter break in Cabo San Lucas. But wait, that's not all. Call before midnight tonight and you'd also get this beautiful RONCO tissue box cover, with your choice of colors, absolutely free. Absolutely FREE!

p.s., CDC video on the proper way to cough/sneeze:

http://www.coughsafe.com/media.html

Absolutely hilarious!

~**Dawn**~ said...

I feel your pain. I have had pneumonia twice. Now when I get a cold, and it progresses to a cough, it hangs on forEVER. Like for months. And the worst thing I can do is take a cough suppressant.

colleen said...

hum.. I don't have rock hard abs, but I do have a tight and firm stomach due to the stretching of pregnancy! You can't pinch an inch ;)

colleen said...

p.s. get better and glad to hear you are taking it easy!

xeonX said...

awww..man! Hope you get well real soon colleen.. Take good care.

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

Sorry to hear about your six-pack... stomach that is...

Hope you feel better soon.

P.S. I'd take those abs over my muffin-top any old day :)

Colleen said...

Dawn- pneumonia twice! Eeeek!

Colleen- I bet your tummy is super cute!

Susan- Thank you my friend =)

david mcmahon said...

So that's a ``gag order''? I've got a few party gags too!

Look after yourself, Colleen.