A compiled heap of my poetry, memoirs and personal insights of past and present.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
The Winter Coat
Can you figure out what's going on in this picture?
Well, I'll TELL you what's going on! This is Fats. She actually has a real name, but I never call her by her real name because she's FAT. She's eight pounds now, and larger than some cats. Oh, and she is wearing a collar and coat....and yes she IS a rabbit. This picture is not a joke. It was taken a couple years ago of her. My mother actually made her a coat, because you know, being a rabbit and all, she must not be warm enough in the cold. (Cough, cough, choke) Will someone please remind my mother that we happen to MAKE coats out of rabbits because their fur is so warm!
And what's up with the collar? Is she confused with the dogs? Maybe.
This is part of a real phone conversation I had with the dear woman this morning.
Mom: "I need your advice." Me (as Kathleen Turner): "Sure what's up?" Mom: "Well, It's 37 degrees out and the rabbit wants to run around." Me: (I didn't know my mother can read rabbit's minds, but whatever.)"Yeah, and?" Mom: "Well I was wondering if I should put the rabbit's coat on her." Me: (long pause) "Wait, are you serious?" Mom: "Yeah well, it's freezing outside!" Me: (Laughing) "Mom, people make coats out of rabbits becasue their fur is so warm. I can't believe we're having this conversation! No I don't think you need to put the coat on the rabbit." Mom: (laughing too) "Okay, maybe that does sound silly, but I just thought I'd ask to make sure." Me: (shakes head, smiles) "Okay, Mom. Let's not have this conversation again, yeah?"
Please God. Please let me grow up and not be like my mother. Oh shoot, in some wonderful respects, I think I already am. But when it comes to stuff like this, I know who's the practical one...!